FARCE SIDE
COMEDY HOUR

"Damn, they're still doing that shit? I used to do my crummy jokes up there." 
- David Spade, FSCH Alumnus
We write, revise, and perform an hour long original sketch comedy show every Friday at 8pm on the Union Stage!

MEET THE CAST

KATIE MALE
(Director)
I'm a bitch in the boardroom, a bore in the bedroom, and a bear on the toilet.
ALLIE MAHAI 
(Assistant Director)
Likes to eat butts.​
GARRETT STANLEY
(Assistant Director)
Some people say he still wears that helmet today.
RACHEL SPENCER
​(Producer)
​I just really like dogs and ASU Comedy. But mostly dogs.
ISAAC COPPOLA 
Human version of the Arizona Mills food court.
GABRIELLA DEDMORE
If it ain't foreign, it's borin'
MORDECAI GARCIA
​Comedy is just wiggly air.
RYAN GRISSETT
50% desperation. 20% Zoloft. 20% my name isn't actually Ryan.
ZACH KOCZARA
It was August, high summer, but there was something definite and curiously insubstantial in the air. In the fields nearby, the cattle were untroubled, their jaws grinding the last of the grass, their large, fat tongues drinking the clear brook water. But there was something in the air, a sad note the weather played upon the instrument of the bone-stretched skin.... Zach had arrived.
RACHEL PRICKETT
My feet are soaked but my cuffs are bone dry.
KATE ROGERS
I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
DENZEL RUSTEMPASIC
Let’s play two truths and a lie

1) If A = B and B = C then A = C 
2) if A = B and B = C then A does NOT = C
3) John McCain was a war criminal
MALIKA SAROYA
I have snakes for hair so they call me Afro Medusa. If you listen real close, you might hear the serpents plotting to dismantle capitalism or maybe even discussing their shared love for the end pieces of bread. Just don't look me in the eyes.
KAT SHAMSA
An 18th century girl living in a 21st century world
CALI TRAMMELL
​I'll deadlift you into hell, you son of a bitch.
BEN VITON
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me? You little bitch. I'll have you know that I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals and I've been involved in NUMEROUS secret raids on Al-Qaeda. And I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the ENTIRE US arm forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision lights which has never been seen before on this earth. Mark my damn words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again fucker. As we speak, I'm contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now. so you better prepare for the storm maggot. The storm that wipes out the little thing that you call your life. You're fucking dead dude. I can be anywhere anytime and I can kill you over 700 ways. And thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I Extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the united states Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent you little shit. If only you could have know what unholy retribution your little “cleaver” comment was about to bring down upon you. Maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't! You didn't! And you're paying the price. You goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown. You’re fucking dead kiddo.